Polyvagal theory is a powerful lens in which to understand our emotions, behaviours and relationships – so don’t let the scientific-sounding name intimidate you. Although Polyvagal Theory has its origins in the work of Stephen Porges, it is Deb Dana, a licensed social worker in the USA, who brought this theory into therapeutic settings. Polyvagal Theory helps us to understand how our nervous system responds to the world around us, showing us why we feel safe in some situations and stressed in others. It is why polyvagal theory is considered the science of safety and connection.
The Basics of Polyvagal Theory
Through the body’s assessment of danger in the environment (called neuroception), three states are produced in the nervous system:
- Social and Social (Rest and Digest): This is our calm, connected state. It’s when we feel safe and able to interact positively with others.
- Fight or Flight: This is our active defensive/survival state. It’s when we feel the need to protect ourselves, either by confronting a threat or running away from it.
- Freeze (Shut Down) and Fawn (Pleaser Mode): This is our most primitive defensive state. It’s when we feel overwhelmed and immobilized.
These three states of our nervous systems impact us in so many ways – influencing everything from our heart rate to our digestive systems, even our ability to relate to others. The nervous system can be viewed as the biological foundation that lies beneath our experiences. In other words, by better understanding our nervous systems, we can better understand ourselves.
Why it Matters
Understanding these states can be a game-changer in how we approach our mental health and relationships. Have you ever wondered why you sometimes ‘freeze’ in social situations? Or why certain environments make you feel instantly at ease while others put you on edge? Polyvagal Theory offers explanations for these experiences.
The Vagus Nerve: The Connection Between Brain and Body
The vagus nerve is a complex nerve that runs from our brainstem to our abdomen. It’s constantly sending messages between our brain and our bodies. The ‘poly’ in polyvagal refers to the three different branches of this nerve – each playing a unique role in our nervous system states.
Neuroception: Our Bodies Risk Detector
One of the most fascinating aspects of Polyvagal Theory is the concept of neuroception. This is our nervous system’s ability to assess safety or danger in our environment without conscious awareness. It’s like having a personal security system that’s always on, scanning for threats or signs of safety.
Sometimes, due to past experiences, this system can be oversensitive to certain cues, leading us to perceive danger where there is none. This understanding can be incredibly helpful in addressing anxiety and trauma responses.
Applying Polyvagal Theory in Daily Life
So, how can we use this knowledge in our everyday lives? Here are a few practical applications:
- Recognise Your State: Start paying attention to your body’s signals. Are your muscles tense? Is your breathing shallow? Your body is wise and has so much to share.
- Create Safety: Learn to orient yourself towards safety. Don’t dismiss the signals your body is sharing with you, as safety is the foundation for so much goodness in life. When feeling dysregulated, focus on creating a sense of safety. This might involve deep breathing, seeking comfort from a loved one, or moving to a quieter environment.
- Stay Connected: Engage in activities that activate your social engagement system. Small, incidental connections count, as does spending time with animals. So, reach out to a friend, or better yet, spend time with a loved one in nature.
- Mindful Breathing: Slow, deep breaths can help activate your vagus nerve and bring you back to a state of calm. Singing does this too.
- Compassion for Others: Polyvagal Theory can also help us be more compassionate towards others. If someone seems withdrawn or reactive, remember, it might be their nervous system responding to perceived threats.
Making Friends with Our Nervous Systems
Learning about Polyvagal Theory is a way of befriending and nourishing our nervous systems. It is an invitation to listen to the wisdom of our bodies and honour our need for safety and connection. By looking at our nervous systems with a polyvagal lens, we learn that behaviours and responses to life are created unconsciously, as an adaptive response. All in service to safety and survival.
I encourage you to be curious about your nervous system states. Notice when you feel safe and connected, and what environments or interactions support that state. Pay attention to what triggers your defensive responses. This awareness is the first step towards greater self-regulation and wellbeing. The goal isn’t to avoid uncomfortable sensations and difficult emotions. They have their place and so much to teach us. Rather, the key is to have flexibility – to be able to move between states as needed and to find our way back to safety and connection.
Polyvagal Theory offers us a compassionate, biology-based understanding of our experiences. By working with the three states of our nervous system, we become more resilient and better able to support ourselves and those we love. We learn to identify our triggers and find supportive resources. It reminds us that we’re not just our thoughts or behaviours, but complex beings with intricate nervous systems constantly responding to the world around us.
